Coming to Terms with Yourself
by Neon Rouge
Summary: Angst drabbles. Because no one is perfect, in other words; everyone's imperfect, and everyone has something wrong with their life, something which they want to come to terms with. Angsty drabbles, latest - Hinata centric with implied NaruSaku and NejiHina
1. Coming to Terms with your Pain

**I have started a drabble series, each featuring a different pairing or different character. I hope you enjoy this drabble, short as it is.**

**Disclaimer: The fic is mine, Naruto is not.**

She smiles sadly at him, the tears collecting in her eyes rolling down her rosy cheeks-

(_Don'tcrydon'tcry,anymore_)

-in fat droplets.

Sakura averts her teary eyes, not bearing to look at the man who caused her so much pain, so much tragedy in her life, their vivid green irises shining slightly.

She can't bear to look at the man who rejected her.

Sasuke does the same; also looking away-

(_Lookatmelookatme,onemoretime_)

-but not before catching sight of his reflection on the water's front; his very image making him want to throw up and gauge his eyes out-

(_IhatemyselfIhatemyself_)

-simultaneously.

But not in front of her.

Not in front of Sakura.

He doesn't want to do anything to her, he can't bear it, he can't even bear being-

(_Whymewhyme)_

-this close to her.

He wants to hold her, hug her, smell her-

(_letmeholdyou,onemoretime_)

-grow old with her, wake up to find himself next to her-

(_Marrymemarryme_)

-be made meals for by her, kiss her, exchange vows with her.

"Sakura" he says weakly, his voice bearly above a whisper as he-

(_Listentomelistentome,foronceinyourlife)_

-hides the pain, his obsidian eyes turning to her again; a pleading look inside them.

She doesn't look at him, she remains crouched on the ground;her shoulders shaking slightly, the rain falling around them, giving the scene a ghost-like quality.

"Look at me." Sasuke says in a hoarse voice, tears brimming his eyes-

(_IhaveseenIhaveseen,somuch.)_

-as they threatened to fall.

"Please.."

No response.

Sakura merely stayed there, with her shaking arms wrapped around her knees-

(_keepitinside,hidethepain)_

-continuing to be unresponsive to his pleas, as much as the latter love each other; they've been broken apart-

(_I'mscaredI'mscared,holdme)_

-Broken apart by sin.

He doesn't want to cause her anymore pain by being near her.

Sasuke doesn't want to cause her anymore pain by-

(_IloveyouIloveyou,somuch_)

-loving her.

* * *

**Confused?**

**Well then, R and R!**


	2. Coming to Terms with your Misfortunes

**A/N: **_It appears that I have finally gotten off my lazy ass and updated this thing. And yeah, It's another SasuSaku which I was inspired to write after reading 'Unmarked Tombstones,' an amazing oneshot written by my all-time favourite author AGENT REN._

_Also not that these drabbles will start having prompts as from now. They will be either in the form of sentences or sole words._

**Disclaimer:**_ No ownage located._

**Prompt:**_ Nothing last's forever, no matter how much you ask for it to._

* * *

She pushes the key in the lock and turns it expectantly to the right, too tired to remember which side unlocks the front door to her apartment. She sighs and tries turning it harder; the door remains closed in an almost stubborn way. She curses and pulls the key out, then slides it back in. This time she does what is wisest and turns it to the left, listening in satisfaction as it makes a soft clicking sound and allows her to push the door open, granting her access to her home.

The first thing Sakura does once she enters her home and leads herself absentmindedly to the kitchen, is dump her duffel bag on the counter and strip her kunai and shuriken holster from her waist. She heads to her room and and pulls off her clothes. The first thing to leave the warmth of her sweating body is her soaking shirt, her skirt and shorts follow; each and every article of clothing is dumped unceremoniously onto her cluttered bed until she stripps down to her underwear. Sakura walks into the narrow hallway and dodges various things left untidely on the floor. The pink-haired woman carries on surpassing the obstacles left in her way, she heads for and makes it to the bathroom; which she enters after flicking on the light-switch.

Sakura's face almost drops at the sight of her reflection as she casts a critical eye over the bags under her bloodshot eyes, the open wound on her left thigh, her mangled hair which stuck to her pale face in matted clumps.

But the most eye-catching thing of all is her sunken cheeks, the potruding ribs, the drooping breasts that won't fill their bra, the hip bones poking through her flesh and the way her skin clings to her bones as though desperately seeking some form of nourishment. Sakura hates the disease that carried her down this path.

Sakura hates what she has become.

But what she hates even more, is what drove her to become this.

Or rather _who _pulled her to this state of mind, who inflicted this desease upon her so subtly, yet so painfully.

Sakura will probably never forgive Sasuke for that day.

Back when he had just left, when she had just been abandoned, even then Tsunade would tell her that the worst sickness is one of the mind, one that only the carrier can cure. Sakura would ask her why, Tsunade would always answer in the same way.

_Because not everybody is willing to be cured._

True as they may be, Sakura hates those words, those words of reality, of _shinjitsu._

Sakura hates them because they describe her perfectly.

* * *

The day Sasuke returns, he can be seen walking back towards the village gates. Not unguarded, not unwounded, not unscathed, not untainted, not unlied to.

The first to greet him is not his team, as most people had fantasised, but just a pair of citizens that just happened to be walking by.

Now that they are almost in their twenties, the team should have all moved on by now, as Sasuke thinks.

God only knows how wrong he is.

Sasuke hasn't even heard of Kakashi's death, of Naruto's fracture, or of Sakura's disease, that's how far back he is.

* * *

That same day is the day that Sakura's disease finally takes it's toll on her. She is rushed through the blurring hospital hallways on a stretcher by a group of agitated medic-nins, a breathing tube is stuck into her nose, pumping anesthetic into her, and she can see the flashes of green, white and blue around her all merging into one around her form. Her eyes glaze over and begin to droop, the upper-eyelids falling to meet the lower ones.

She is fast asleep by the time her stretcher bursts through the operating room's swinging doors.

By the time Sasuke is waiting for Tsunade to speak to him about his arrival she has already begun operating on Sakura.

* * *

"Where is she?!" Sasuke shouts as he slams open the hospital's door, his clothes bloody and dishevelled. Everyone within the reception area stops what they are doing to look at Sasuke.

"Where is she?" Sasuke repeats, his sharingan blazing furiously in his normally opaque eyes, his eyes swivel wildly between one nurse and the next, they exchange nervous glances.

"I'm sorry, sir." One of the nurses stationed at reception duty asks in a solid manner, her brow creases in a scowl. "Who exactly do you mean?"

Sasuke's sharingan fades as he looks down as if ashamed as he says her name, "Haruno Sakura." He says softly, his eyes brimming with invisible tears.

The nurse's expression turns grave, "Right this way." She says without a tone of voice. Sasuke nods and does as he is told to, following the nurse to a vacated operating room. The nurse makes a gesture at Sasuke, telling him that he must wait outside, he stands outside of the door taking note of the fact that the light above the door went off, telling him that the operation was no longer underway.

The nurse remains inside, and in her place the fifth Hokage emerges from the room. Tsunade whips off the mask covering her mouth and makes a quick swipe at her blotchy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She hold up a hand, all five digits erect, "You have five minutes." She says softly.

Sasuke nods and heads inside, the rest of the operating staff and the nurse follow Tsunade out of the room, the nurse shoots him a quick look before she leaves, telling Sasuke all that he needs to know.

Sasuke looks at Naruto and Sakura with a look of something akin to nostalgia, he gulps summoning their attention.

"Sasuke..." Naruto stands up fully from his previously kneeling position. "You too?"

Sasuke nods his head and looks at Sakura, at her thinning cheeks, her potruding bones and skeletal arms. He understands everything with just one glance.

_We have five minutes together._

"Sakura." He takes up Naruto's previous position and kneels by her side, Sakura spares him a glance before looking away quickly.

"Why?" She asks him simply in a small and hoarse voice, Naruto is quick to realize that not much time is left and he moves slightly closer to her as though competing with Sasuke who he shoots an assuring look, as though to tell him that they will still have each other.

"Why?" Sasuke repeats, he moves closer, his hand touching hers and his face inches from her own thinning one.

"Why weren't you there, Sasuke?" She asks him, her eyes spilling with unshed tears as she completes the question she has been asking herself for so long now.

"I was foolish, Sakura," He looks at Naruto, who takes the silent liberty to wipe away Sakura's tears. "We all were."

Sakura and Sasuke stay there like that for what seems like an eternity, just looking at each other. "I don't have much time left." Sakura remarks, her eyes brimming with tears again and her voice wobbling.

Sasuke nods his head solemnly, tears spilling from his own eyes now. Sakura takes this as her moment to speak. "I have a few last words for both of you." She looks towards Naruto who is now crying without any tears going amiss, "Thank you Naruto, for everything. For being like a brother to me, for promising me things that were out of your reach, for being there to hold me at my parents funeral when no one else would. Just thank you, for all the things you did that nobody else could. Not even my own brother was as good to me as you were, remember that I will never forget you, I hope that you won't either." Naruto nods and continues to cry, his tear's steady flow never once faltering. Sakura turns to Sasuke, her eyes soften and look at him with all their green glory, just as he remembers she used to. "Sasuke, for you there are a few things that have always gone undone and untold. Here is the first thing." She moves her head towards his own one and captures his lips in a chaste and quick kiss which had almost no life in it. Sasuke lets his tears flow, his eyes seem to reapeat 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' Over and over again.

"There was one thing I never told you." Sakura's voice had began to waver, her eyes drooping and starting to close, the warmth of her body seeping away from her along with her life.

"Good-bye, Sasuke, good-bye."

_Oh God I almost started crying myself, may the lord help us._

_The disease was something like Parkinson's disease if you must know._

_Buh bye,_

_Pinky._


	3. Coming to Terms With Your Broken Dreams

_**A/N: **I really love this drabble, I hope you guys do too._

_R and R!_

_**Disclaimer:** Something that miraculous would never happen to me._

_**Prompt: **Dreaming of something that you know will never come true._

* * *

Hinata knows what was coming from their very first day together on that mission.

It is the way they act towards each other that arouses her suspicion. For whenever they catch each others gaze, they blush as the startling blue eyes of Uzumaki Naruto meet passive green ones of Haruno Sakura. The way Naruto jumps at the first sign Hinata gives him that he should help Sakura before her; the way Naruto speaks to the pinkette, with a soft, almost kind, tone of voice, his eyes changing completely whenever he looks at Sakura.

He never does those things around her, around Hinata, and it makes her heart fall.

And even now, she realizes as they laugh heartily with one another, Naruto never acknowledged her lin the way she had always wanted him to.

-

It is not long after that mission that Hiashi, Hinata's strict no-nonsense father, has a grave announcement for her and Neji.

"Hinata," the Hyuuga heiress looks up with frightened eyes but does not meet her father's own stoic ones, "As you know, there have been many conflicts between the Main house," He looks at Neji for a brief moment before continuing with his speech, "And the Branch house. The Elders have been discussing the matter for a while now and have come up with a solution to end the scorn being passed between both halves of the family."

Hinata gulps, she turns to her younger sister, Hanabi, beside her, whose forehead is now inscribed with the seal that her own family had inflicted upon her, the seal that marks her as a caged bird and a member of the Branch house.

Hinata gazes at the genin with something akin to apathy, Hanabi does not return this and merely stares stonily back at her father.

Now, Hinata's father has told her many shocking things during her short life thus far, but none of them held any comparison to what he was about to inform her and her cousin of in front of the entire Hyuuga clan.

"You, Hyuuga Hinata and Hyuuga Neji are hence to be known as betrothed." Hiashi does everything he can not to meet his eldest daughter's eyes as they widen, a look of shook overtaking her peaceful features as her shoulders shake slightly.

Hinata looks at her cousin, whose expression is not different to her own, yet still not entirely the same.

The raven-haired twenty year-old turns to look at her father, she nods slowly as something catches in her throat, "Hai, father." She says with half-lidded eyes, Neji gives his answer with a solid 'yes' and nothing more is said from either Jounin, both of them feeling as though they would never have much in their own say towards that particular topic.

-

A few weeks from that fate-changing day the wedding takes place, the entire ceremony nothing like Hinata had ever imagined her own wedding being like.

It takes her and Neji an entire three hours to get ready for the event, both being dressed in ridiculously expensive garb that both ninja's found unnecessary as they would never love each other with more than a sibling love.

Hinata's hair is tied in various different knots that she cannot identify before the servant assigned with the task of styling her hair twists it into a French braid with her bangs pushed back and held into place with ebony clips. A beautifully made kimono is tied around her curvy figure, tiny, deep blue sparrows dance along the lavender material in carefree spirals, childishly-drawn cherry blossoms decorating the hems in an almost loving way. She fingers the wine-purple obi nervously as a different servant applies her makeup, covering her face with pale foundation and colouring her full lips a pale-pink hue with a tube of lipstick. The servant adds the finishing touch to this new Hyuuga Hinata with a slight dusting of pale-blue eye shadow before she announces that Hinata is good to go.

-

Hinata's eyes fill with tears as she accepts the marriage and signs the contract in front of her with shaky hands and her newly-made husband casting a watchful eye over her.

First comes the HYUUGA.

(_Because she is too sad to think of herself as anything other than another member of her clan.)_

After the first part of her name has been inscribed upon the ivory material the HINA follows.

_(Because she always looks towards the sun when she's feeling somber.)_

She gulps and adds the TA to complete her name, now she and her cousin can be declared husband and wife.

_(Because she feels that now she can think of herself of the beautiful, conspicuous sunflower that she really is.)_

"You may kiss the bride." The priest announces, a hushed silence falls over the attendees.

As Neji's soft lips touch hers for the briefest moment possible Hinata realizes that her happy ending never really turned out as she had always hoped it would.

-

A few years pass in what seems like slow motion to Hinata who is now the mother of her own daughter, who is about to turn a few months old in a week's time and had to be let in the care of her younger sister due to the ceremony that had just taken place.

Today day is the day Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura decide to unite in Holy Matrimony and live the rest of their lives together in bliss.

And even now, Hinata still feels as though she has still not yet gotten over Naruto completely.

"Hinata-sama." Hinata looks at her –dare she say it— husband with eyes full of sadness. "Let us leave if it is making you uncomfortable." He tells her with a strong hand resting on her arm reassuringly.

Hinata nods and begins her grueling pace out of the church after him.

She stops for a moment when they reach the exit, Hinata turns around to see the newly-weds kissing and holding each other happily, she casts a sad eye over the scene; her vision is blurred slightly by the tears collecting in her eyes.

"Hinata-sama." Neji reminds his wife that he is awaiting her, a hand gesturing for his fellow Hyuuga to exit the building.

Hinata nods and follows him into the brisk night air, pausing for a moment to bid one last goodbye to all of her shattered dreams.

_

* * *

_

In case you guys were wondering, the stuff about the facing the sun and the sunflower is just definitions of Hinata's name, I thought it wouldn't be fun to neglect my favourite parenthesis.

_Please review, I need some more of them for this series! (Seriously, I only have one.)_

_Bye, and thanks for reading,_

_-Pinky_


End file.
